I hate phones.
I hate the way they drag you away from what you are doing.
Half-way through eating tea,
Half-way to paradise in the bedroom.
Ring, ring it rings.
Ring, ring, ring.
You cannot ignore it.
Too far away to belt it one hard between the keys.
You've been interrupted.
You've dragged yourself halfway round the house.
Then it stops.

One ring to bring us to our door.
One ring to wake us from our sleep.
One ring to stop us from our work.
One ring to rule us all.

I hate phones.
I hate those stupid answering machines, and the noises they make.
You have no messages.
We do not have the caller's number.
Press "1" to speak to a robot.
Please hold for a moment.
I'm transferring you to another department.
Please hold, please hold.
Cannot connect you.
You have been charged for this call.
Please try again.

One ring to bring us to our door.
One ring to wake us from our sleep.
One ring to stop us from our work.
One ring to rule us all.

I hate phones.