The Number Of The Beast
- Bad experiences of taxi rides
I have no feeling for or against the particular taxi firm in question (the number is a genuine one).
It was just that the number got me thinking about what a taxi company in league with the devil
would be like. You may notice a certain similarity in the opening lines to those of Iron Maiden's
track of the same name. This is purely consequential.
Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea,
For the Devil sends the beast with wrath,
Because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding, reckon the number of the beast.
For it is a human number.
It's number is 0800 666 666.
Speak its name and it will appear,
Though in some areas this may take a while.
Heed not the promise of "in five minutes"
For there is always traffic in that last mile.
Remember to take a detour past the bank
If you plan to venture beyond the city limits.
Some charges are written up in the cab,
But more apply to non-ethereal spirits.
Close your eyes as you speed through the traffic.
The beast, already undead, will not yield to a light.
As he weaves though lanes that others do not see
He will take great pleasure in your fright.
His wheels will squeal and his gears will grind.
There's no escape as the blood red digits soar.
You will cling to the seatbelt with all your strength.
Your screams cannot be heard above the engine's roar.
When at last, at your destination, you arrive,
And through the smoke, you see the world may yet exist.
It is not God you should thank that you're alive.
It is the devil who has spared you, so pay well the beast.
Remember, it's number is 0800 666 666.
Category: "Humour", Star-Rating: *
Written by Keith Lambell, August 19th 2004
Poem viewed 42 times since March 2002.