Withered And Died
- Sorry tale of indoor plant disaster
The story of a number of indoor gardening failures.
(Inspired by a line from a Richard Thompson song).
Bought a small Geranium, placed it there upon the shelf.
Quite the perfect specimen, such a picture then of health.
Should have bloomed a lovely pink, but a small mistake I made.
I put it in the sunshine, but I think it wanted shade!
My plant has withered and died!
Withered and died, withered and died,
Despite my best intentions, it withered and died.
So bought myself a Cactus, thinking that would be all right.
I really looked after it, gave it water every night.
Fleshy parts were really green, and its spikes were really bold.
But started to get sickly, and was covered in blue mould.
My plant went mushy and died!
Mushy and died, mushy and died,
Despite my best intentions, went mushy and died.
I bought myself a Yucca, with the lovely pot they sell.
When I saw it with flowers, things were going really well.
I kept it nice and shiny, all its leaves were big and green.
But green-fly came and chewed them, until none at all were seen.
My plant got eaten and died!
Eaten and died, eaten and died,
Despite my best intentions, got eaten and died.
Bought myself a plastic plant, surely nothing could go wrong.
I put it in the front room, where I felt it should belong.
Planted in a little pot, even though it had no scent.
But a candle came too close, so then up in flames it went.
My plant got burnt up and fried!
Burnt up and fried, burnt up and fried,
Despite my best intentions, got burnt up and fried.
Category: "Humour"
Written by Keith Lambell, June 27th 2001
Poem viewed 165 times since March 2002.