Robotic vacuum cleaners are just a bunch of lazy slackers!
They don't lift up furniture to get those pieces of crackers.
They just go round and round, going over the same old ground.
Doing a defective job, filling the house with awful sound.

Technology might enhance our lives, but this is not the way.
What's the use of a wheezing disc that doesn't want to play?
It doesn't move the sofa or lift the rug as it tries to clean.
I'm convinced it's doing nothing when it knows it can't be seen.

This is a cleaner that knows all the best corners for lurking.
Intelligent enough to know where to hide and stop working.
But unable to navigate stairs or even empty its own bag.
What kind of person would hoover the room in a zig-zag?

I wouldn't buy a robot vacuum, no it would be better to have two.
Give one a chainsaw and the other an axe, to see what they could do.
I'd let them fight on to the death and film it all for television.
Watching as the crushing and cutting put an end to their precision.

Washing machines and microwaves change the way we live.
Nuking a ready meal gives us more time to be productive.
But some things need the attention to detail of the human eye.
The dusting and the cleaning are jobs far too hard to classify.

Computer programs don't think the same as human kind.
Simple image recognition is way beyond their mind.
Rescue the golden ring, but hoover up the cheerio?
Easy for you and me, but robot vacs have far to go.

So just remember that when it comes to the crux
That little robot vacuum cleaner, really sucks.