I've got asylum seekers in my loft, and I don't know what to do.
I only asked them in, to fix my leaking roof,
But when I offered tea, they said no.
They wanted immunity from eviction.
They wanted a TV, radio, and a paper.
They demanded all sorts of modern things.
Like a fax machine, a computer and a cordless phone.
And after all this demanding ... changed their minds about the tea.

I've got asylum seekers in my loft, and I don't know what to do.
They don't want to return to a country that they fled.
Don't want the police involved, or a lawyer from the state.
Don't want to get a job, or defend their case in court.
I'm starting to wish I hadn't let them in at all.
But they all seemed like pleasant people.
Were well versed in wooden joints, and keen to see my tiles.
But now I fear they're here to stay ... despite my plea to leave.

I've got asylum seekers in my loft, and I don't know what to do.
I have a lot of sympathy, but why must they be here?
They were just as safe in the garden shed next-door.
Why don't they seek sanctuary in number 9's conservatory?
It's not fair to them or me, to force them in up there.
For people who might have fled from fear
To have to lie and cheat to end up in poverty here.
We need compassion and controls ... and I still need to fix my roof!