Vote for me my people, and I'll give you all a pound.
Don't think of it as bribery! Our policies are sound.
Don't bother with the other lot, they'll tax you all to hell.
The things we hold as precious, they'll just turn around and sell.

I'll tell you what we'll do now, if you vote us in again.
We're going to get the builders in, demolish number 10.
I speak the truth and never lie, you'll always see me smile.
I've sold off all my politics, to make room for my style.

We've got an eco-policy, it's growing very nicely.
I've done my own arithmetic, and costed it precisely.
We think we know where Europe is, but leave it well alone.
Of course we fight for Britain's rights, but do it on the phone.

We want to build new hospitals, put nurses on the ward.
I want to build you houses, that I know you can afford.
We'll train our cops in rhythm, get the bobbies on the beat.
I know you'll like our spending plan, we'll never face defeat.

Remember when you're voting, put your cross down next to me.
Just check the list for loony, not the only one you'll see.
So vote the way you know is best, be guided by your heart.
And put a few more crosses in, the counting's going to start.