The strangest thing happened on my way to the Hobbit tonight.
I was crossing the road outside when overhead was this bright light.
A spaceship, a huge silver cigar was hanging in the air,
and before I could cry out in shock, they had me inside, up there.

There were no dials, no flashing lights, no screens, no buttons at all.
All that I could see from within my tube was this little red ball.
When it spoke, it was with a voice of such cold hostility,
that I was struck quite silent. Did that ball really just speak to me?

"You have been chosen as an example of your kind." it said.
Strange feelings surged through me as a light began to scan round my head.
"It will not harm you, we want to see why you're tall and not round."
"For surely being a sphere makes it easier to get around."

The scanning stopped and the tube was lowered, so setting me free.
The creature was no larger than my shoe and yet rolled next to me.
"How do you roll? How do you fly? How to rest and not fall flat?"
I took a while to think of a reply to a question like that.

"We have legs to play football, with feet to help us kick the ball".
"We have arms to pick things up, with fingers to press buttons to call."
"A head on the top contains our eyes, our nose, our mouth and ears."
"All these things mean we can enjoy music and chatting over beers."

The ball rolled away quietly, moving out through an unseen door.
A short moment later, it came back accompanied by two more.
"Understand the fingers, though not the reason you'd want to kick."
"We would like you to show us what you told us of beer and music."

After lengthy persuasion, and turning off their outside light,
I agreed to bring one red ball with me to "Open Mike" tonight.
As long as we smile and look happy with our drinks, and applaud,
they will leave us alone and go elsewhere with all the balls aboard.